Isn’t this a pity?!


My heart is so funny;
it acts quite phony,
playing tricks on me;
I am such a dummy.

I am sad and void;
my heart has never loved,
and it has never been loved;
it is so ice cold.

I’ve seen pretty,
I’ve been flirty,
but my soul’s empty;
isn’t this a pity?!

I’ve chased the wind
like a kite unbound,
but I’ve only landed
on a fire island,
where my heart has been roasted,
and my mind has been wasted.

With the one I thought I loved,
we decided to part, abandoning us for good.
With the one I felt I loved,
I couldn’t see us bond
deeper than what we already had.
With the one I imagined,
we were just in a dream land.

If love is a fantasy
that makes you feel tipsy,
then the “love” I had in my heart,
perhaps, was only a lust.

And so I celebrated
the New Year in solitude.
My heart is now closed;
it shall remain sealed,

for I will never have
the true love
that I crave.

***

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14 thoughts on “Isn’t this a pity?!

  1. Love is such a funny thing. Such a funny, funny thing.
    Your poetry always reminds me of things that I really wish weren’t like that. Of unsatisfied hearts. Yet it’s really so lovely.

  2. awww. only the 2nd day of the NEW YEAR, and talks of doom and gloom???!!!
    you have forgotten all the new hopes, new desires, new goals!!!???
    In the 3+ decades of living I’ve come to understand that no one,
    NO ONE ELSE, loves your heart the way you want it to be loved.
    Life is a compromise to settle with one and molding of both into one.
    With commitment and compromise from both – life becomes tolerable! & beaufiful.
    During the journey we call life – we fall in love not once, not twice, not even thrice –
    but many MORE times with different people for different reasons.
    So love! It’s futile to look for one true love to love your heart and soul.
    Sorry to say that. But that’s my take on life and its funny business.
    Nonetheless, I wish for your sake your heart gets warm, fill it with love :) Ameen

    [Now I did not find any more places to put a smiely up there. pity isn’t it. now to make up for that …] :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

    • Amira, I love the way you comment.. This sounds more positive … These lines are so beautiful and it encourages me… “During the journey we call life – we fall in love not once, not twice, not even thrice –
      but many MORE times with different people for different reasons.
      So love! It’s futile to look for one true love to love your heart and soul.”

      Oh, Amira.. I will put Smileys for you :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

      LOL.. Now its Elyas turn to Smile back… :D

      Elyas After reading this above comments you should Be more happy for having a Encouraging friend, Amira in these virtual world of blogging… No worries!! Open up your heart .. :D Laughing out loud….:D

  3. Aww… you guys are so kind!! :D :D What would I do without my blogger friends, huh!!! :D Thank you ‘Nessa, APB, Mon Amie, Khushbu!!! Thank you so much for the kind and consoling words!! lol Here is my turn to give smiles back :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) LOL

    Here is a confession I have to make lol … I watched Wicker Park, such an awesome yet sad movie, yesterday. [I recommend you watch it if you haven’t.] A friend recommended it and I liked it very much. And so this poem is partially inspired by the movie. :) I have been trying to write it way before the New Year, and for some reason I wasn’t able to articulate the feelings well, but I had scribbled some part of it before watching the movie, and when I finished watching the movie yesterday, the poem completed itself! :D lol … I guess sometimes you just have to wait for the right moment. lol And too bad that the right moment happened to be just two days after the new year. lol So Amira … it wasn’t that the world turned upside down suddenly … it was just that a bottled up emotion found its way out yesterday! :D The movie helped me release the feeling I have been wanting to express in some form. :) APB … what you wrote cracked me up! lol … ‘Nessa, yes, love is such a funny funny funny thing. lol Khushbu, if Amira were to be the sunshine, you would be the sun rays!! :D Regardless of what I go through in life, my heart will always be warm because of awesome friends like you guys! So thank you for being there! :)

    To just add a little gloom to all these intimidating smiles, let me share with you a poem from the 16th century that I read this morning lol …

    Ring Out Your Bells, let mourning shows be spread,
    For Love is dead.
    All Love is dead, infected
    With plague of deep disdain;
    Worth as naught worth rejected,
    And Faith fair scorn doth gain….

    —Ring Out Your Bells, by Sir Philip Sidney

    Now, that is quite a gloomy poem, isn’t it??
    :) :D

    PS: “Life is a compromise to settle with one and molding of both into one.” As for this comment, Amira, I would love to agree with you, but I believe that it’s important to make sure that both your mind and your heart are in synch when you decide to settle with one; otherwise, you always are going to feel something is missing in your life somehow. I’ve been in the compromising situation more than once, but it didn’t work out the way I thought it would.

    • hmm … now it’s sunshine and sun rays!! :D
      whatever happened to mermaid? :P

      and OH MY GOD!!! what a grossly gloom filled poem :|
      “All Love is dead, infected
      With plague of deep disdain”

      Now I cannot go to sleep with such plaque ridden words.
      Here I present an alternative one, by the same Sir Philip Sidney :P

      “My true Love hath my heart, and I have his,
      By just exhange one for the other given:
      I hold his dear, and mine he cannot miss;
      There never was a better bargain driven.
      His heart in me keeps me and him in one,
      My heart in him his thoughts and senses guides:
      He loves my heart, for once it was his own;
      I cherish his because in me it bides …”

      P.S.
      Isn’t that great? that goes so well with a cold heart –
      just change its location to get it warm!!!

      AND yeah yeah “it’s important to make sure that both your mind and your heart are in synch when you decide to settle with one” … cannot agree more… but what is reality!!?

      anyway :) :) :)

      • Amira, lol I was saving the beautiful Mermaid for another time, give her a break, will ya!! :D :P With all the charming smiles all around me, I could only think of sunshine and sun ray! :D

        As for the poem, isn’t amazing that one person can write completely two opposite poems! :) That guy rocks! I find his poems quite intriguing, and especially when you think of the time period, it’s quite amazing how the human spirit remains somehow constant throughout history! :)

        Oh, about the reality question, I wish I know the full answer Mon Amie!!! :) :) :) :) But here is what I kinda know: there are people you should be with, and people you shouldn’t be with, i.e., romantically speaking, and often when you are with the wrong person both your mind and heart tell you in their own ways that you must do something about it, and reality for me then means listening to them both. Sometimes we only listen to one, without listening to the other, and we put ourselves in trouble. I don’t know … am just rambling. lol

        Thank you for being the water for the raging fire; well, you better be, you are a Maldivian after all! :D :P … I come from a land locked country where wild fires are pretty common!! lol :D

  4. Oh Elyas….I am sad for you, I’m so sorry you were feeling down…;( But I’m also glad you were able to express your feelings through your writing. It is a very emotional poem and one that many people can relate to, so you will connect with people’s hearts and that’s good. There’s someone for you, just waiting to meet you. You never know what’s just around the corner. And it has to be a good fit for both of you. Perhaps 2012 will be a great year in many ways… Sending good thoughts your way~

    • Oh Judy! You are so sweet! :) It’s okay, dont worry. :) That was just a poem that had to be written. I did feel those things, I may feel them every now and then, but I often get over them the next day or so. :D I have my days like that! … My mood-o-meter is not always consistent. lol :D Sometimes high, sometimes low, sometimes in between. And poetry is my way of dealing with such feelings. :) If you have gone through my “about” section, you will come across this: “My highs: I am beyond ecstatic. My lows: I hit rock bottom. In between the two states, I have my mom’s voice, my inner light, my friends, and my writing as my mood-harmonizers.” … Yesterday, I was in one of those blue moments, partially due to Wicker Park, reminded me of things I thought I had buried. :D And this poem happened to be the finalization of the day’s blues. :) Thank you though for your lovely words, the advice, and concern!! It means a lot to me! :)

  5. i dunno…never say never…i usually find that makes a pretty good target for cupids arrows…know the feel of being burned in love…i hope it breaks out all over you…smiles.

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